Hi, i have been in fellowship since Feburary 08 and although both sex and love addiction was my primary addictions i felt i had more symptoms of the former and not the latter, however having been sober from bottom line sexual behaviour since then and have suffered the rigours of physical withdrawl (colds, fatigue, irritability) realise that my addiction to the emotional payoffs is just as powerful and now find  my compulsion for romance and intrigue is just as real as was my urge to act out physically.  Infact a recent and very brief interlude with a lady i had long been attracted to reminded me of this.  As an observation, she is also a sex and love addict and in the begining she was pursuing me, i was the one who was being cautious, eventually i blurted out my sordid past in what i believe now to be a subconcious attempt to sabotage the relationship/friendship, she responded by distancing herself from the situation and so now she has made herself unavailable, i of course can't stop obssessing about her. Nothing sexual happened between us and to be honest that wasnt my motivation, it was to have the ongoing intrigue and the flirting, to control the situation and  have my ego bolseterd by this beautiful woman wanting me and me being able to keep her at arms length. Once the i burst the bubble by laying too much honesty out, the power shifted and now iam the one who feels like i want to be texting and calling her all the time. Although we had shared that we're both coming out of addictive relationships, it was me who still thought it was a good idea to pursue a relationship, it was her who actually spelt it out and said it's probably not a good idea that we continue...and iam the one with 16 months sobriety!?  I watched a Rom-com the other day and as the credits rolled, i had the urge to call her and lay my feelings out on the line and say,' I know that we have our problems but iam facing my demons and i will be true to you, let's give this a go and see where it takes us, if you say no, no hard feelings but can you honestly say you don't think about what we could have together?'  my higher power said 'Sleep on it, see how you feel in the morning,'   of course by the next morning i was more obsessed with whether i would make any money that day,(just started up a new business) than proclomations of love, God does for me what i cant do for myself.So, Lu, yes Romance addiction is very real to me and iam sure to many more people who are more or less aware of it, you only have listen to societies accepted notions that love is pain and suffering and obsessive and exclusive that it's no wonder we're bought up with a distorted idea of what love actually is and falling in love is nice but it's also extremely unbalancing and unrealistic, you cant be 'fixed' by another if you have little identity of your own or any self worth to begin with, you cant be 'made whole' by another if you don't know who you are yourself but these are widely considered to be normal feelings and human behaviour, watch any romantic comedy or listen to most Adult contemporary music and the message is there again and again, 'I can't live without you' 'You to me are everything', 'If you leave me iam nothing' 'You are my world' ... it's a bit obsessive dont you think? it's little wonder we as a society dont feel we're alive unless we're are in the extreme agony or ecstacy of 'Love' or that we're worth less than dirt if we haven't found our 'Soul Mate'. Society as a whole is the biggest sex and love addict in town and this should be remembered when the temptation to compare oneself with 'normal' people is appealing.The answers are in the steps, if in doubt go back to step one admit your powerless, let and let god, don't act out and listen to your god. Easier said than done sometimes admitidally but as one wise man in fellowship shared with me,'It's the only game in town.' God Bless S. Don't act out and the answers will come.

Hi Sorry I haven't heard this but when I thought about it that kinda made sence. When you think of the chemicles that are released in the brain when we are really into someone that gives me the same high I get from the sexual side. Often it's the lead up to sex that is more enjoyable than the act, the antisipation. Perhaps the romantic chemicles do the same??