SLAA Safety Statement

S.L.A.A. (UK) Approved Safety Statement

SLAA UK Safety Statement (in Word format) Download

Part One: Guidelines for Safety

S.L.A.A. is a fellowship of people who come together to heal from their addiction through the twelve step programme of recovery. It is designed to be a safe and loving community where individuals are able to heal from their addictive sexual and emotional behaviour. Fellowship as part of this community is strongly encouraged and for many of us, it has been instrumental in tackling the isolation that so often accompanies our addictive behaviour.

Often when a new member joins S.L.A.A. a feeling of hope and the lifting of despair can lead to thinking that every S.L.A.A. members has their best interests at heart. Experience shows that most S.L.A.A. members will offer great support but a few may not.

It is important to note that individuals, whose patterns of sex and love addiction manifest in various ways, attend these meetings. Some will have been victims of abuse, others will have engaged in abuse or predatory behaviour as part of their acting out patterns, for which they are seeking recovery. A number of individuals may fall within both categories. For some of us, our boundaries have been so violated that we don’t know how to keep ourselves safe. This is one of the tasks that we learn in recovery.

As a guide, the following is suggested so that we can take personal responsibility for safety:

Please use first names only (and last name initial) and take steps to preserve your anonymity, such as having a dedicated recovery email address.
Please refrain from cross-talk or excessive detailing of acting out behaviours.
As with sponsorship, individuals need to create their safe connections and an outreach network with fellows who are not of the gender or sexual orientation of their acting out /acting in patterns. It is recommended that fellows exchange telephone numbers only with individuals who meet these criteria. It is recommended that you limit your engagement with individuals who are the same gender or sexual orientation of your acting out/acting in patterns whilst you are in early recovery. Everyone attending meetings and fellowship events is there because they identify as a sex and love addict (or anorexic) and therefore it is important to take precautions to keep yourselves and others safe. Others may be more vulnerable than you know. You may be unaware of some of your own behaviours or vulnerabilities until you have completed relevant step work.
Respect others’ anonymity on social media. Don’t send unsolicited friend requests or search for fellows on social media. Remember also that if you are part of a WhatsApp group then when you send messages you are revealing your telephone number. Platforms such as Telegram and Signal are better suited to protecting an individual’s anonymity.
Do not give out any information other than mobile numbers (i.e. full names, addresses) until you know someone well and are confident that they are safe.
Sometimes we develop close relationships within the group but, as this is an anonymous fellowship, we do not know anything of a person’s background. It is advisable, therefore, that if developing close friendships or relationships outside the group, you bear this in mind.

For legal reasons, regardless of parental consent, no babies, children or individuals under the age of 18 years old can attend a SLAA meeting. If anyone appears to be under the age of 18, any member can query their age and request that they leave if they are under 18.

Part Two: The Traditions and Safety in Meetings – a Summary

Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.L.A.A. unity.

Our First Tradition reminds us that all members have a responsibility for the common welfare of the group. It follows from Tradition One that, as individuals, members should be aware of their duty of care to others and follow the law and best practice on safeguarding in order to ensure a safe environment for members and those who members encounter when acting in the fellowship’s name.

S.L.A.A. members within their groups need to recognise the power of their behaviour in their relationships with other members of the Fellowship and with potential newcomers. Members in recovery will understand that our behaviour influences others. Recognising that we can control our behaviour, we have a responsibility to set a good example.

Should someone speak to you about your unacceptable behaviour, listen to their feedback, think about what they have said and respond appropriately. Regardless of how you feel about feedback on behavior, remember that we are all here to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all, even those we may not agree with. We are all here to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind. Membership is based on a willingness to work the programme and apply its principles, including the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.

Tradition Three: The only requirement for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction.

Tradition Three means that no individual can be excluded from S.L.A.A. as a whole, regardless of any injurious, predatory or sexual offending behaviour. People with histories of sexual offending have as much need as any other sex and love addict of the S.L.A.A. programme of recovery. This does not prevent specific meetings barring any individual whose behaviour is dangerous or harmful to others in the group.

Tradition Two: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as this Power may be expressed through our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

Any formal safeguarding responsibility does not sit with Intergroup; however, where required by a venue, a meeting may agree through group conscience to adopt appropriate safeguarding practices, supported by its members.

Tradition Four: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.L.A.A. as a whole.

Tradition four reminds us that S.L.A.A. as a whole is not an organisation where any one person or group of people are in charge. Each S.L.A.A. group is free to conduct its business in accordance with the principles of the Steps and Traditions as their group conscience decides.

Tradition Nine: S.L.A.A. as such ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

S.L.A.A. UK Intergroup provides service, not governance. There is a distinction between the individual members, the groups, Intergroup and Fellowship-Wide Services. They are all separate entities and are responsible only to themselves. Each may separately choose how to respond to their own safety issues. Intergroup may be a source of information and may share experience, strength. Intergroup are trusted servants and do not govern.

Tradition Five: Each group has but one primary purpose, to carry its message to the sex and love addict who still suffers.

Tradition five reminds us that we gather together for one purpose only, therefore we will always suggest recourse through appropriate outside agencies if an incident cannot be defused quickly and safely. If individuals act illegally or injuriously they may be legally accountable.

Additionally, Tradition five entails the responsibility to ensure that carrying the message to all prospective, new or established members is done honestly and decently.

Tradition Twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Tradition twelve reminds us that we may talk to each other and reason things out, but to let there be no gossip or criticism amongst us. We do not investigate or judge. Where possible, discussions of matters relating to safety should be anonymised.

What is heard and seen in meetings is confidential. However, no member of S.L.A.A. is above the law for any offences committed prior to joining S.L.A.A., or any offences committed whilst attending S.L.A.A. We, as a Fellowship, believe that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, but this does not mean that we allow the protection of anonymity to permit anyone to exploit or abuse our Fellowship, or any individual member of SLAA.

For further guidance on applying the Traditions see the S.L.A.A. Framework for Living which can be obtained in draft form from the S.L.A.A. UK safety subcommittee or, once conference approved, from F.W.S.

Part Three: What Constitutes a Safeguarding Issue?

All forms of discrimination, abuse and exploitation are in conflict with S.L.A.A. Traditions and our way of life in recovery. All such behaviours need to be taken seriously, and dealt with as they arise.

Safeguarding issues arise when this behaviour is particularly severe and poses a risk of significant harm to a child or vulnerable adult. Some examples of behaviours that may be considered safeguarding issues are listed below. These should not be tolerated at any level of the structure; our members have the right to feel secure in meetings and whilst going about S.L.A.A. business.

Physical abuse including hitting, slapping, pushing, restraint and ‘honour’ based violence.
Psychological and emotional abuse is a pattern of behaviour that can include gaslighting, threats of harm, humiliation, harassment, cyber bullying, intimidation or coercive control.
Sexual abuse including inappropriate touching and non-consensual sexual acts.
Discriminatory behaviour such as harassment on the basis of race, gender, gender identity, age, disability, sexual orientation or religion.

Part Four: What to Do if Unsafe Behaviour Occurs

Regardless of the severity of the harm, the requirement not to subject another S.L.A.A. member to harmful acts is a spiritual boundary. The ultimate responsibility for respecting this spiritual boundary lies with the member committing the harmful act. We suggest that such a member consider whether their presence at a particular meeting may be likely to cause harm or distress to others, and if that is the case, to seek their recovery elsewhere.

Does the behaviour constitute a safeguarding issue or a safety issue?

Safeguarding issues are much more serious than safety issues. Think about whether the behaviour is something you’re unhappy with, or something that could cause someone serious harm.

Responding to Safeguarding Issues

Managing serious harm is outside our primary purpose of sharing the message that there is recovery from sex and love addiction. If you are really worried about an identifiable person, including yourself, you can contact:

The Police on 999 (in an emergency) or 111 (non-emergency).
Crimestoppers at https://crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/forms/give-information-anonymously
The Adult Safeguarding Team in the Local Authority where the suspected victim lives if you are concerned a vulnerable adult is at risk.
The Child Safeguarding Team in the Local Authority where the suspected victim lives if you are concerned a child is at risk.

Members are suggested to discuss this guidance in their group conscience and to establish their own contingency plans to deal with safeguarding issues. It may be that groups appoint a safeguarding representative. An experienced, respected S.L.A.A. member may be best suited to this role.

Responding to Less Serious Issues

For issues that are less serious (example: inappropriate messaging during or between meetings), we can respond by applying the Twelve Traditions of S.L.A.A.:

Take personal action – if you are uncomfortable about someone’s behaviour towards you, you can set a boundary. It is often sufficient for the recipient of challenging behaviour to raise the difficulty with the person creating the problem by communicating that the conduct is offensive. Anyone has the right to challenge unacceptable behaviour from any other member of S.L.A.A. at any stage, and request that the behaviour stop.
Reach out to the supportive fellowship of S.L.A.A.
1. If you are concerned about a particular individual’s safety or wellbeing you can ask the person for permission to talk with them about your concerns or direct them to this safety statement.
2. Our groups are never a place to act out. Anyone subjected to inappropriate unwanted sexual or emotional advances can share the incident with their sponsor, another trusted member or their safe outreach network to seek experience, strength and hope around what to do next.
3. Although business meetings and group consciences are very important for many decisions, some things are better dealt with discreetly by a few trusted servants in order to maintain the anonymity of all concerned. If this is unsuccessful or inappropriate, raise the issue in a group conscience
Bring the issue to Group Conscience
- The subject of the complaint should be informed as soon as reasonably possible, in a setting that is safe and appropriate for both the individual and those raising the concern.
- Group members should be reminded of the guidance in this Safety Statement.
- If possible, discussions should be anonymised, placing principles before personalities.
- The group may take whatever decision they see fit, within the guidance of their Higher Power and the Twelve Traditions of S.L.A.A., to protect the functioning of the group and the safety of the members.
- In cases of persistent or severe unacceptable behaviour that prevents the carrying of the S.L.A.A. message and seriously interferes with the functioning of the group, the group conscience may decide that a member be excluded from the group. Members cannot be excluded from SLAA as a whole.

Meetings

Members have a right to expect that they will be safe at a group meeting. It is the responsibility of the group holding the meeting, through its members or trusted servants, to ensure that no member or visitor is subjected to, or experiences, unacceptable behaviour.

If offensive behaviour occurs during a meeting, members in recovery can respectfully request for the behaviour to stop and, if necessary, invite the person being offensive to leave the room.

Service Meetings and Service Positions

The purpose of Group Consciences and Business Meetings is to foster unity, provide support and seek the collective will of the group and our Higher Power’s guidance.

Collective experiences have highlighted instances where individual members and groups have actively tried to dictate the conscience of service meetings through abusive and threatening behaviour.

When these instances have occurred, experience shows that it is perfectly acceptable for a trusted servant to stop the meeting, remind all attendees of our primary purpose and our need to allow our Higher Power, as we understand it, to express itself through our Group Conscience.

If people in service positions within a group are being abusive or are abusing their role, then they can be voted out of their service position by the other members of the group via the Group Conscience. Failing that, funds can be withdrawn for activities that they are overseeing. In extreme cases, members can even be barred from the group (be it an individual SLAA group, Intergroup or whatever else) via the Group Conscience.

If the above suggestion does not have the desired effect, and the behaviour is particularly harmful, there may be a need to involve an appropriate outside agency.

If the behaviour is less severe, members may wish to consider attending a different meeting or starting your own meeting. Our experience suggests that meetings that do not operate within the guidance of the Traditions tend to fold as members struggle to maintain their sobriety and/or choose not to attend them.

S.L.A.A. UK cannot order a meeting to disband if the Traditions are not being respected. Tradition Three reminds us that each S.L.A.A. group is free to conduct its business in accordance with the principles of the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts as their Group Conscience dictates. They are a S.L.A.A. group if they say they are, as long as they have a common desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. The Traditions are not rules, regulations, commandments nor requirements. There is no authority that can enforce the Traditions. No decision of any S.L.A.A. group or F.W.S. is ever forced upon another, even when we believe a practice is in conflict with the Steps and Traditions. Autonomous groups are self-governing, independent and free from control.

Sponsorship

Within S.L.A.A., good sponsorship is vital for both our recovery and service.

Good sponsorship involves making the sponsee aware that sponsors are not trained counsellors. All we have is our own experience, strength and hope from our recovery from sex and love addiction.

Neither are sponsors medically trained, and under no circumstances should sponsors give advice relating to medication.

We believe that most sponsors would want to make the sponsee aware of the importance of personal confidentiality and trust.

Updated statement Approved by S.L.A.A. (UK) Intergroup ….th of …… 2025 Intergroup does not speak for all of S.L.A.A. This statement is not conference approved by S.L.A.A. Fellowship-Wide Services (F.W.S.). We are autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.L.A.A. as a whole.

<Short form> // (The purpose of the short form card is to support a safe and respectful meeting environment, guided by our shared principles and group conscience. It may be read at the start of meetings or referred to when concerns arise.)

S.L.A.A. (UK) Approved Safety Statement – Update to be reviewed on by 10 March

Welcome to SLAA. Our meetings aim to be a safe and respectful space for all recovering from sex and love addiction.

We strive to create a respectful, supportive, and safe environment for all members.

Our group conscience affirms:

Any person over 18 who identifies as a sex and love addict is welcome.
If anyone’s behaviour endangers another or disrupts the meeting, the group may ask them to leave.
Respect our tradition of anonymity: what is shared here stays here. Anonymity is a spiritual principle, not a shield for abuse, harassment, or illegal activity.
Please use first names only, maintain anonymity, and respect the privacy of others—especially online and on messaging apps.
Cross-talk and graphic detail about acting out behaviors are discouraged.
Avoid getting close to people who you might be attracted to or become involved with in ways that could repeat past unhealthy patterns (often referred to as ‘acting out’ patterns).
Only share your own experience; refrain from giving unsolicited advice or feedback.
If safety concerns arise, speak with a sponsor, trusted member, or raise it in the group conscience.

We do not investigate, judge, or govern. We support each other in recovery. This is a fellowship of equals. We ask everyone to honor boundaries and help maintain a supportive environment.

Please respect our cherished tradition of anonymity, reminding us to place principles above personalities: whom you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.

In an emergency or if a crime has occurred, contact the appropriate public authorities. Tradition One reminds us: “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on S.L.A.A. unity.”

You are not alone. There is a way out. Let’s work together to keep our meetings a safe, welcoming, and healing place for all.

For full safety guidance, visit: www.slaauk.org