Unusure about attending a meeting for the first time

I can no longer pretend my behaviours are “normal” and the impact of my actions are becoming more apparent day by day. I am losing friends, hurting people I care about, have a horrendous reputation, put myself in dangerous situations…you get the picture. But I am worried that I am not as “addicted” as others and that because I am still quite young (early 20s) if I attend a meeting people won’t believe I have ended up in this rut already. To be honest I can’t believe it either. I was also wondering how exactly you first attend a meeting. Do you just turn up? What is the format of a meeting? etc Thanks, Wednesday

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2 thoughts on “Unusure about attending a meeting for the first time

  1. Nero Post author

    Hi Wednesday

    Well done for reaching out. Its already a brave and great step. Even if you are not sure if you are “as addicted as others” it will be worth trying a few meetings out to see where you are. People of all ages, races, backgrounds & classes attend meetings. Sex and Love Addiction is a clever condition which shows no discrimination. Do not let your age make any difference. You will be surprised how young some members are, and how old some members are. I began to see my addictiveness in relation to sex and love from the age of 15.

    Just turn up – be a little early to give yourself a psychological advantage, and to give yourself time to have a cup of tea when you get there. You don’t have to talk to anybody if you don’t want to and you can leave at any time if you feel you want to. You do not have to say a word or share if you don’t want to. There are some meeting formats downloadable from this website (under the Meetings tab to the left of this page, then the Starter Kit tab) if you want to look at the format to make you feel more comfortable. Some central London meetings can sometimes be very crowded and may be overwhelming if you are new so you might prefer smaller meetings further out of town – it depends where you are based.

    Whatever you do, try at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is right for you. Even if you hate the first meeting (and most people do) return another time or try a different venue. There are special focus meetings which you might prefer – eg./ Women only, Men only, LGBT, H.O.W. (a particular method of following the Steps), etc. There is usually literature that can answer all your questions. Great pamphlets and Beginner’s Kits. You can take phone numbers of members if you want, or go for coffee after meetings to talk further.

    Good Luck and let us know how you get on.

  2. Fergus Post author

    Just turn up. We are all in similar situations. Many people have issue around sex, some arounglove others have a part of the addiction called social, sexual and emotional anorexia so it is quite complex. Just get along to meetings there are many younger people that attend so you won’t be sitting in a room full of 6o year olds. Mind you we have some of those also. Most people are very supportive and friendly.


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