I am an Online Sex addict looking to find recovery but I am also an Aethiest, Secularist, Humanist and a man of Science not of religion. Is there a place for me in the twelve step programme which asks us to surrender to the higher power of god?

— trying 2 recover

6 thoughts on “Aethiesm

  1. peterL Post author

    Yes definitely. I don’t believe in god either. Neither do i disbelieve. But the program is bigger than me, the reality of ‘what is’ is bigger than me, so surrendering to the program, and to things as they are rather than how i’d like them to be in my fantasies is the form of surrender i find comfortable, and helpful.
    I pray every day, but not because i believe anyone is listening or any benign power is going to sort things out for me, but as a means of reaffirming my commitment to the program. Good luck,


  2. nas Post author

    i would refer you to the AA book “Twelve Steps & Tweleve Traditions” where it talks about exactly your situaiton in its discussion of the 2nd step! They didn’t find being an atheist a problem! Recovery really is for everyone, and i wish for you that you will find it, too!
    all the best,

  3. Nero Post author

    This is a great question, one of the best on the site. No, there is no such thing as a “higher power of god” & the 12 Step Fellowships never talk about this either, but they do say that a higher power can help. The best thing about the Fellowships for me is that you do not have to believe in god to get well. We get to a point where we realise we are powerless (here, over sex & love addiction), and have to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get well again.
    This power can be anything you choose: nature, energy, the Fellowship (2 people are stronger & more powerful than 1), some choose “god” or “Jesus” or the “Prophet”, science, whatever floats your boat. The main thing for me is that I don’t believe that I am it – a higher power or a god.

    Let us know how you get on. All the best.

  4. trying_2_recover Post author

    Thanks for all the responses. I guess the small amount of information I have read has mis-guided me slightly about the religious element to the process which wouldn’t have been acceptable to me. I understand know that the higher power is related to something (anything) beyond (bigger than) myself whether that be a group, nature, science or anything else. Thanks again. I have not yet joined a group but am getting closer.


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