Scared to have a relationship

Have been effectively single for two years after being a love addict involved with a sex addict for three years.

Have been approached by someone I have just been talking to as a friend for a while. He has told me of feelings he has for me that I had no idea about, but am petrified of entering any type of new relationship and am terrified that I may be entering into a relationship with someone who is addictive.

I have seen no hint of this, he seems normal, actually listens when I talk, has healthy relationships with friends and family….but I have only once had a relationship with someone who wasn’t an addict of some sort. I promised myself to never become  involved intimately again ….but he really does seem a genuinely decent chap.

How can I tell if he’s ok, how can I let my guard down enough to find out if he is genuine or not. Is it worth the risk of getting hurt again…I really don’t think I could cope with anymore emotional turmoil.

How can I be normal I don’t what that looks like, what on earth is a healthy relationship, how can I recognize one.

How can I interact in a positive way when I have never experienced first hand what it is like to be in a relationship that is not co-dependent.

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One thought on “Scared to have a relationship

  1. Prof Post author

    Hi Love4me,
    I am always of the opinion that genuine relationships develop over a period of time.
    There is no rush with health relationships. There is no need for them to be intense affairs.
    If you want to see how this guy really feels for you then love will wait. Be patient with him.

    Consider not rushing (As you already haven’t done) into a relationship.

    Be good friends. Gradually things may develop from there, or he or you may move on.

    Healthy relationships also have time for friends and for yourself.

    Healthy relationships are not codependent on someone 24 hours a day!.

    Best wishes. Prof.

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